It might have been just like any other old hotel on that part of Melmel Kingdom Island, a beautiful tropical paradise island on the South Coast of Japan, but this place, and this island, for that matter, was not what it seemed. Melmel was ruled by a cult of female rulers known as the “Rainkiss Lilies,” they were all stunningly beautiful, and always extraordinarily well-dressed in exotic, tropical versions of common formalwear seen in other parts of the world, though it was often more revealing and the materials used to create the outfits were extraordinarily varied. Each Rainkiss leader made her own outfit and lived in a huge bathhouse mansion, built from the ground up and complete with hot spring amenities and hotel rooms for her guests, all of her belongings were handmade, all of the books in the bathhouse libraries were written by the house’s owner…the island ran on tourism, but the tourists who checked in sometimes never checked out. The Rainkiss Lilies were a cult of sultry, sadistic, demented murderers that would advertise their kingdom as a perfect vacation spot, only to randomly kill certain individuals in fits of dark, sexual horror that they thought were attractive; the victims were always male, and since most of the Lilies were between the ages of 25-30, they were typically the younger vacation crowds. The entire island, a fully-recognized territory, was ruled by gorgeous, young, genius, female murderers…they were the law, and on Melmel, nice, unattractive guys really did finish last…only that was a good thing. Two college students from California were about to see just how wrong a trip abroad could go…
- Wrong Way, Idiot!
“Well, here we are, Melmel Kingdom…there certainly are a lot of flowers.” Andrew Wilcox said to himself. “The island is known for its magnificent gardens; the ruling Rainkiss Party values natural beauty above all else. Don’t you pay attention in global politics class?” “I didn’t ask you for any facts, Lawrence.” “Oh, excuse me, sire, I didn’t realize someone died and left you to be the Lord of Ten Thousand Years…” “You know what? It’s great that you have a 198 IQ, but in reality, no one in American society cares. If you live in America, you are expected to conform to a certain standard, and that means following everything on T.V. to the letter and doing what everyone else considers popular. Either you do what pop culture and celebrity, mass-media outlets dictate, or you need to leave the country. That is MY opinion, and no amount of A+, award-winning essays arguing against my point of view will change that reality. That is why all of your friends are foreign and no one from the U.S.A. likes you at all.” “Then democracy really doesn’t exist now, does it? If we are forced into a societal role by pop culture, then how free are we really? According to a certain Serbian political scientist, it is individuals like you that have turned the U.S. into an “inverted Fascist state.” Instead of being run from the top-down like a Nazi government, the Fascist apparatus in power takes the form of celebrity magazines, FOX News, CNN, and other biased outlets that never tell you the straight story. Your ideology just confirms that.” “Are you saying?” “Yes, you are a football-playing idiot who runs on autopilot and is a shining example of why America is as intolerant as it is today, you and every other meat-headed athlete.” “Well, at least I can get laid…” “If that is where this country is headed, to where nothing matters anymore except sex and sports, then I don’t want to live here anymore.” Andrew got sick of Lawrence’s intellectual rant against him, and, realizing that he was right and that Andrew couldn’t argue against his intellect, Andrew responded the only way that he knew how to do so. “Get out of the car, you fucking nerdy bitch. Find your own hotel.” Lawrence grabbed his things and stepped out of the car onto the paved road along the seashore, with massive gardens of tiger lilies and other flowers swaying in the warm breeze…who needed that asshole, anyway? “It’s a shame that the school pairs people up via lottery system, I never did like games of chance…” Lawrence said, standing in the hot, 90-degree tropical sun. He had been looking forward to a learning experience in a tropical island culture through his university’s study abroad program, but his partner, a complete asshole named Andrew Wilcox, only wanted to get drunk at the world-famous bathhouse hotels that the Melmel Kingdom was famous for. What was also interesting was that the ruling party, the Rainkiss Party, was all female, though nobody really knew what they looked like, aside from island regulars. “They probably look similar to an ethnic Polynesian race, like the Maori…” Lawrence thought, wondering about the physical appearance of the Rainkiss officials, much like a Native American, with dark skin and brown eyes. “Ummm…hello? Are you lost, sweetheart?” “Huh?” Lawrence said, turning around. Standing in front of him could only be one of the leaders of the Rainkiss Party, but she did not look anything like what Lawrence had thought. She stood 6 feet, 3 inches tall and had long, silky brown hair, alabaster, pale skin, and haunting, pale blue eyes. She stood with her toes in the sand on the side of the road, barefoot, wearing a blue bikini top with sequined beads flowing off of it and a hibiscus flower in her hair. She had a semi-transparent sarong over her swimsuit bottom, which had a silken veil flowing from it as well. The sarong was iridescent, much like a Madagascar Sunset Moth’s wings. She had gorgeous obsidian earrings and a gold necklace fashioned into the shape of a tropicbird. She had a sweet, soft accent and crimson, red lipstick. She was exotic, hypnotic to look at as she walked, and exceedingly sexy. “You…you are one of the Rainkiss Leaders, aren’t you?” “Yes, I am. My name is Samantha Van Pelt, Mistress of Midnight Sun Bathhouse. Anyway, do you know where you are?” “No, miss, uhh, no…” Samantha giggled cutely. “Don’t worry, I won’t harm you, you’re too skinny anyway. I think you need a place to stay, don’t you? Why don’t you come to my hotel, we’re having a Hani Matsuri festival later tonight…if you know what that is…” Sam winked seductively. “Wow…thanks…” Lawrence smiled. “Hani Matsuri,” the Japanese summer solstice festival, was where everyone got drunk and celebrated the coming of summer, and the possibility of partying with someone like Samantha Van Pelt and seeing her antics when she was drunk made the day go from zero to over 9000 in less than a second. “Come, I can get you back to the bathhouse faster than you can possibly know…even with your 198 IQ.” “Wow…she knows…she ACTUALLY knows!!…wait? huh? How?” Lawrence felt a bit of a delayed realization…how did Samantha know what his IQ was, even though he had never met her before? It didn’t matter, however, he finally had attention from a hot girl, and one that seemed just as smart and talented as he was! “Maybe she just can’t resist tall, smart white guys with black hair, glasses and freckles in blue suits…Ha-ha…” Lawrence thought. “How do we get back from here, we’re in the middle of nowhere!” Lawrence said, annoyed. “Don’t worry, I have a solution.” Samantha pulled a small remote control device from a pouch clipped to her bathing suit bottom and pressed a large, red button. Just then, the water in the lagoon began to bubble and boil like a hot spring, and out of the frothing, roiling mass of bubbles, emerged a large, lobster-like underwater transport. “Wow…this is…odd.” “I built this myself when I was 15. It’s really nothing. Get inside, don’t worry.” Sam walked gracefully down towards the submarine and sat down in the pilot’s seat, with Lawrence quickly following. He sat in the passenger seat, and looked at the control panel. “This is incredible…how, how is this done?” “This is only a small ship in the Melmel Grand Fleet, we have a Navy, but it’s all underwater, subsurface craft, the capital ships are gigantic Teuthos-class submarines, each one is shaped like a squid and is the size of one of your Nimitz-class aircraft carriers. I’ve been in command of one of those before, but, I prefer the smaller ships, yes, the ones that give you a more personal connection to the ocean around you and not have to deal with imbeciles, fools and people who have no sophistication whatsoever.” “I know how that feels…” Lawrence groaned as the submarine began scuttling along the bottom of the sea like a gigantic lobster. “So, Lawrence, this other guy that was with you, Andrew, was it? What makes him such an idiot?” “Perhaps it’s because he never studies and does nothing but try to pick up girls all the time.” “Well, that will never do here. The point of my political party and the Melmel Kingdom in general is to oppose media brainwashing, and those that use the media as an agent of popular-culture Fascist dogma. We represent what is rapidly becoming a lost art in humanity’s lexicon, individuality, truth and justice. Humanity is inherently flawed, and those flaws will eventually destroy society in a fiery, ultimate final battle that I like to call “Dawn of Heathens.” Once this battle is complete, we will remain isolated in our tropical paradise…it’s ironic, society claims it can save others, but not itself…” “That…was…AMAZING.” Lawrence said, astounded by Sam’s speech. “Thank you, you fit in well here, I can see that. How long are you here for?” “As long as you want me to be…er, uhh, 5 months, yeah, 5 months.” “Well then, I think we’re going to have fun here, for as long as you are here.” Sam turned her head so that her long brown hair covered one of her eyes in a very seductive manner, and smiled deviously. “Well, we’re here.” The lobster-sub slowly surfaced up into a well, and docked as it came up. When Sam stepped onto the indoor dock, she reached for Lawrence’s hand, and pulled him onto the dock, and offered to show him around. The two of them walked out into the main atrium which was surrounded by an absolutely breathtaking, panoramic view of the sparkling seas, glinting in the sun. The interior of the atrium was covered in an authentic Oriental rug and had a candlelight chandelier hanging over the main banquet table, with a balcony overlooking the crashing rollers of the Pacific below. “The hot spring baths are that way.” Sam pointed at a huge network of volcanic springs and natural lagoons abundant in sea life. “The guests will be here very soon, you see those boats out there? Those are catching fresh fish for my party tonight. I hope you like fresh snapper. Welcome to my house, Lawrence, sweetie. Sam kissed Lawrence sweetly on the cheek. “I’m happy I was your first one.” Sam smiled, happily. Just then, Lawrence looked out the window and saw what looked like a gigantic emu-like bird walking in scrubby patch of shrubbery. “That’s impossible…” Lawrence thought, realizing that he was looking at a bird that science said was extinct for 500 years. “Oh, it’s not impossible. That moa was cloned from restored DNA in the lab that I operate downstairs. “I keep a large menagerie of prehistoric island wildlife on the reserves here; I also keep one particular specimen as a pet. Moana! Here!” Samantha whistled loudly, but nothing showed up. “Just wait…” Suddenly, a colossal eagle swooped in like a gigantic shadow, more than 5 feet tall with talons as large as a man’s hand and a 12-foot wingspan; the massive predator landed right next to Samantha, who scratched the huge bird’s head softly with her hand. “That’s incredible…that eagle, it, was…” “Cloned from a Haast Eagle bone dug up in Otago, South Island, New Zealand. Moana is 3 years old and is very smart; she’ll even follow sophisticated instructions. Her name means ‘ocean’ in Maori.” Lawrence reached to pet Moana too, but she hissed angrily and snapped at his had with her razor-sharp bill. “Careful, she bites.” “Lawrence, I’m going to give you a job to do to get ready for the party. I need you to make sure that the fireworks are kept safe from…Seta…Seta Haruna.” “Who’s that?” “Just some guy from up-island who has had a major crush on me since we were both 10 years old, he’s smart, he follows the ideology we all support but…he’s got an unhealthy obsession with fire…and me. He and his friend Seto Watari are so low on the tree of evolution that they belong back with the Neanderthals in the Pleistocene-era Europe. They do nothing but build weird machines all day and watch dirty movies at night, and probably fantasize about sleeping with me or spying on me sitting naked in the hot springs, and they make extremely immature jokes every time someone says something that sounds like a sexual innuendo. They are sorry excuses for human beings and a disgrace to sentient life. That’s why I have Moana here; remember when I told you she’d follow complicated instructions? Even ones as complicated as “Go chase that idiot halfway across the island, and rip his head off if he stops running” are not out of the question. I need you to makes sure those fireworks aren’t touched until it’s time to set them off. Hani Matsuri is not the same without a midnight fireworks show, and no pyromaniac is going to ruin that…I’ll be wearing my ‘Dark Summer Desire’ style too, I certainly hope those two control their idiocy, as if that has any possibility of happening. Now Lawrence, go get ready while I get changed. The fireworks room is the third door down from the right.” “Yes, miss.” Lawrence responded and ran down the hallway into the fireworks room, past statues of Maori gods and goddesses. As Lawrence walked into the room and turned on the lights, he saw so many fireworks that it was enough to blow his mind, quite literally. What really blew his mind the most, however, was Samantha Van Pelt and her intelligence, beauty and quick wit. She was a dream come true to Lawrence. “If I’m just dreaming…please don’t wake me up…” Lawrence thought to himself. The party was starting in an hour. Everyone needed to be ready.
- Hot Dress
About 15 minutes later, as Lawrence was looking at the gigantic Dragon Screamer fireworks, he heard a soft knock at the door. “It’s me, Sam, you can come out now.” Samantha opened the door, and Lawrence stopped; with a sudden rush of blood to his head causing his nose to bleed slightly. Sam was wearing a stunning burgundy dress with black dinner gloves and her hair long, silky and combed, as usual. The most provocative aspect of her dress, however was the fact that most of her bust was visible, and that the dress was completely backless, so much so that Sam had purposely folded the hem of the dress down slightly, so that her butt was partially exposed when she bent over even slightly or when her hips swayed as she walked…and she wasn’t wearing panties. “Do you like my dress, sweetie?” “Uhhh….yeah, just fine.” “I call this my Dark Summer Desire dress; I only wear it on this holiday in particular. Are you ready to have some fun? Hani Matsuri is one of my favorite holidays here.” “Sure…” Lawrence followed Sam down the hallway, trying not to stare at her. When Sam walked into the main room, the room was already filled with other guests, most of them other guys, who were acting the same way when Sam walked past them. She waved and smiled sweetly.